The long road ahead
The feeling sweeps over me and I can’t shake it. I lay awake in the dark, unable to silence the voice in my head that reminds me of my worst fears and emotions. The feeling of inadequacy. Incompetence. Failure.
I know I shouldn’t expect to be perfectly fabulous right out of the gate, but I feel like I haven’t even had the opportunity to try. I’m fairly confident in my senior portrait work, and feel like I could be instantly successful at it. But I don’t want that. I want to shoot weddings.
But I don’t know how. Don’t know how to get started. How to practice. How to ask someone if I can second shoot with them. I look at Jasmine Star‘s photos, and desperately want to take photos with such emotion. But it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard. But I read something from one of Jasmine’s first blog entries that gave me hope. Talking about the show “Lost,” she writes:
“Locke takes Charlie over to a cocoon and while Charlie thinks it’s that of a butterfly, Locke explains that the cocoon is even more special because it’s a moth’s cocoon. Locke tells Charlie that he could make a slit in the cocoon and help the moth escape a little sooner, but that would do it a great disservice. In doing so, the moth would prematurely hatch, but his life would be shortened. Locke explains that the struggle is what makes the moth so strong and provides for a longer life expectancy. Moths are resilient and it’s the struggle that makes them successful in the long run.”
I know this is going to be a long road, but it should be worth it, right? Someday, I’m going to be as good as Jasmine. I’m going to hold my own and be compared to the top dogs in the industry.
God also thought it should be good to remind me of something else, in the way of my fortune cookie from Ming’s House: