It’s been six years, but I remember like it was yesterday. I remember coming home to my mom waiting out front of the house for me. I remember her crying and thinking I was in trouble. I remember the feeling of shock when the words hit the air. “Susan was killed in a car accident today.”
I remember the days that followed. The confusion and anger at God. I remember she was supposed to come see me twirl baton at the high school football game that weekend. I remember the funeral. Sitting in the room with all of the family while Pastor Douglass prayed before the service. Hearing my aunt sob. I remember crying through the whole service.
To this day, I can’t watch Rascal Flatts’ video for What Hurts the Most. It’s too much for me. When Kenny Chesney sings Who You’d Be Today, I think of her smiling face. But through the sorrow, we have hope. Her mama has hope. Susan was such a great witness for God to her friends. Through her death, students were able to see faith lived out. Through her life, through her death, and through her family’s trust that God was in control. Because he has a plan. I may not fully understand it, but he does.
Miss you, Suzy. (That’s us in the middle of the back row!)
It’s finally Friday. Good thing, because I don’t have class or work on Fridays, so I can catch up on a little bit of sleep, but mostly catch up on all of the WORK I need to get done. I’ve recently added about a million things to my to-do list, so here’s hoping I can get it all done by the time I retire.
In other randomness:
– I finally got my wedding announcements mailed yesterday. They should have been sent out, oh, a month ago, but whatever. i had to buy a new printer to print the addresses on the envelopes (which look bomb, if I do say so myself), but that was a huge ordeal in itself because we fought all day. It took FOUR HOURS to print 113 envelopes. Out of control? Yes, I believe it is. But don’t worry, they had pretty purple “LOVE” stamps on them :)
– You might have seen me post on Facebook yesterday about a big announcement coming next week. Well, I lied. There’s going to be a THREE PART ANNOUNCEMENT coming to the blog next week. There’s a lot of changes going on around here, and I’m SO excited for them. Seriously, I get more pumped by the minute.
– 1AM and me have been having this love/hate affair thing going on. I swear, you stay up late once and you can’t get back to your regular schedule. I think I’m getting sleep deprived.
– I’ve started studying Search Engine Optimization to get better traffic to my website. I’m excited for the results, but kill me now. It’s a ton of work, quite confusing at times, and who knows how long it will take to start working.
– My dog is the cutest freaking dog ever. I’m not kidding. I go all googly-eyed about thirty times a day and use my most annoying baby voice to tell her how adorable she is. And then she just stares at me like she’s thinking, Duh, Mom.
I have to complain a little bit. Corey is in Europe for two weeks for work, and John Deere didn’t provide him with international service on his business phone. I haven’t talked to him since Friday, and haven’t gotten an email since Saturday. I’m so sad that I can’t tell him happy birthday. So I’m reaching out through the internet, praying he’ll check his email.
Happy birthday, Corey. You’re my everything. I can’t wait to be your wife. To fall asleep in your arms and to wake up next to you. To do life together. You make me laugh, hold me when I cry, and always push me to be the best person I can be. Thank you. I hope you’re enjoying your birthday wherever you are in France.
All my love, Rachel
(One of our engagement photos by the ever awesome Rik Andes Photography.)